lys&ladies

All too often I get asked “how do you do it? How does it work when he travels so much” and I laugh of course…do what? do everything?? ha. But my answer is and will always be “I have my own walk with GOD.” Yes, it’s great to have such a godly husband, to not have to deal with worldy issues like jealousy, gossip, drama etc- but that doesnt mean its always easy. We have our rough days, its really hard sometimes to be alone with what feels like the weight of the world on your shoulders (and add in 3 small kids eeeek), to feel sad- and then mad at yourself for being selfish and sad lol. I wouldn’t have been able to survive these past 6+ years without my own walk with God. I have my own personal relationship with my King, I spend alone time daily with HIM, I hear his voice-talk back and dig deep. (really get that, dig deep within) I focus on my walk with God first, and then my marriage falls into place. I know that God called me to live this life, because He knew I could handle it. I know most girls are like “oh we have to have dinner every night” “oh he comes home at this time everyday and we talk” “oh I cant sleep alone, or when He isnt here” “oh we go on a date once a week” LOL and I’m not like that at all, but I dont entirely think its a bad thing. Our marriage would NEVER work if I was needy, and I’ve said that in previous blog posts. I don’t need my husband with me everyday, not because I don’t love him or his compnay but because I know what God has called US both to do, and I’m ok with it. I can sleep fine without Him here, most weekends He’s gone- not because I like it, but because It is what is necessary for the call of God. I can live without dinner together everynight, or date days- those would be great, but they don’t change my feelings at all. I can handle the life, the kids, the craziness of every single day, the ministry stuff, the family problems and the basic house stuff when He is gone, because I know what He is out doing (traveling for Jesus) and I will never step in the way or complain about the gifts from God. When He is home, we always go out to eat with the kids, he helps me vaccum and probably change as many diapers as I do, he’s present, and that’s what we need. God has called us (everyone) to live a life not focused on earthly desires, but on kingdom mindsets and I THINK most of our marriages aren’t representing that. Your spouse isn’t supposed to be on the same level as God in your eyes & heart- they’re a gift from him, and you need to honor God with the gift. I know what I’m called to, and God gives me the grace (and crazy mama strength) to get it allllll handled, all the time- leaning on God to supply my needs. I love my husband, he’s my best friend, the best father to ever live (minus my own, becaue duh), he loves evvery crazy part of me & is always down to bring me back to reality (which I need). My job, a wives job, is to be a helpmate- to support the call that is on his life, to help fan the flame, to step back and say God move, to get over petty issues & can I just say it…stop being so needy? Find a love relationship with God, and learn to be the perfect helpmate. When you stop complaining, nagging, attacking, and pointing out the flaws- I promise you’ll see the presence of God back in your marriage.  I think the devil makes it really too easy for us, and that’s what really gets me frazzled, because we’re supposed to be “warriors” and warriors don’t compromise so easy. Warriors don’t give up, they don’t give in when it gets hard, they don’t stop fighting for what is right when someone “gets injured” and that’s how marriage should be. You’re hurt? I’ll fight for you. Life’s hard? keep fighting for us. Christians are strong, powerful, and when you live Holy-IT WORKS. Yes, there’s bumps, painful moments, words that shouldn’t have been said, situations you wish you could change- but there’s hope and a fight that is within you, the stirring in your soul.  I read a quote the other day that said “never speak anything that makes the devil think he is winning” and WOW, that shook me. How often do we speak death? Do we speak the negative or the “well this is what it is, this is what I see” “I’m just being real” LOL, ok just me? uh usually always if we’re honest. My personality is very black and white, I tend to not leave room for gray areas (aka grace to figure it out) so if you say something, you better back it up with actions right then and there. In a marriage thats pretty hard, because it opens a HUGE door for the enemy to just walk on in and make himself comfy- he will bring a handfull of negativity “well this, well that” and my mind will be like “that’s the truth, that’s reality” when really- it’s just human nature and I’m focusing on earthly desires/wants, and totally taken my focus off of God, and how God see’s the whole situation. I’ve learned the hard way, hundreds of times (no exaggeration) on not giving grace to your spouse, and saying/ acting like the devil is winning. The negativity, the mindsets, the anger, the thoughts..those are all walls you’re building up around your spouse. You’ll never be able to see eye to eye, because you have put up so many walls in your heart that it’s almost impossible for them to creep back in (oops), and let me tell you PRAYER is the only thing that changes anything. You can’t force anyone to change, you can’t beg them, you can’t understand them, and you can’t even reason…only prayer can fix it all. Pray that God softens your heart, pray that you can think positive, pray that you can change mindsets, pray that your walls are broken down, pray for a holy & pleasing relationship to God. (dont worry, I’m speaking to myself over and over and overrrrr). Sorry, at this point I’m probably just rambling and giving myself more ideas for a book one day haha. The world is used to seeing broken marriages, let’s show them that there is hope with God.

xo, lys