heartfelt

Today I finally had a moment with no responsiblities (I say moment, cuz altogether it was like 15 min lol). I already had a fresh coffee, and it just so happened that my house was clean, I already read my bible, showered and all 3 kids were napped at once. I literally sat on the couch (verge of tears if I’m honest hahaa) and just pondered how amazingggggg this feels. Sometimes in the crazieness of it all, a couple min of silence feels like a vacation. I know yadiidaaa these are the best days of my life, they’re only small once… trust me I’m with my kids 24/7 every moment, I’m def soaking up every ounce of kisses&goodness- but it’s a lot. It is a literal dying to yourself every moment, so you can live for them. I feel like so many of us (ok, maybe just me? I’ll talk to myself) focus on other people’s lives and perspectives…when really we just see the facade, the area’s that they chose to let us see. Do you see the couple with a failing marriage? nope, you see a smiling couple in pictures. Do you see the person who feels alone & broken crying themselves to sleep? nope, you see the person traveling the world living the “dream”. Do you see all the mess, the dishes piling up, the stains everywhere? nope, you see the one part of the house that is “clean” lol! Obv you see where I’m going, its quite easy to not let anyone behind the scenes and see all the JUNK that is really going on. My husband is gonna cringe cuz he hates this…, but I’m an enneagram 8, quite proud too hahaa.. but a huge character flaw is I just shut in. I’m extremely good at living my little life, my quality people & no more. I can easily focus on my wild kids, my own issues, deal with everything myself, and never show a sign of weakness- but over the years I have learned that is not the kingdom of God at all. Why would God have us go through trials if we wern’t supposed to shout from the rooftops all that He helped us overcome? or how good He has been even through all the junk of life? I know I have these flaws, and I have purposely forced myself to “write” in these times so that I can shine light on the fact that no matter what your “status” is in life- we are all human, we all have mess in our lives, we all fail at some point, we all wish there was things we wish we could change- and we all need the Lord to refine us. Christ has done so much work in my life the past few years, even through all the rough seasons & changes in life (hello harvie, welcome to the party) and I will live to testify, to be real & to prove that YOU CAN DO IT. I want to always live my life as an open book, to help people with real issues, to not just show some cute pictures of my kids- but to know that I’m doing everything possible to show off the goodness of God even in the struggles! Wanna serve God without ever looking back? you can. Wanna get married super young, and still keep it holy? you can. Wanna raise 3 kids in revival, and never fall away? you can. Wanna overcome all the pain from the world, get set free & feel whole/alive again? you can. Wanna teach your kids to LOVE God more than anything? you can. IT takes work, tears, being faithful and dedicated- but you can.

I know I’m rambling now but I’ve had this blog for a few years now off an on, mostly off (cuz I’m busy hahaa) but I really feel like if you need someone, I’d love to be here for you! I think the cool thing is we all come from different walks of life & in order to see God move- we must reach out! I know life is super tough sometimes- so find yourself some friends who are TOUGH too!

-lys