“bigger picture”

I was thinking about 2019, and everything I feel like I’ve endured this year…so many hardships, so many things behind the scenes, so many personal battles I’ve had to face for me/for my family, so many times of rejoicing & “I can’t believe this is happening” kinda moments. I had so many thoughts for what this year would hold- but honestly none of them included sickness. I feel like when we enter a new year it’s always positive thinking of how great the year will be, but hardly ever “what trials will come?” (this isnt a doomsday, neative mindset entry either lol hold on). I was having a conversation with my sister in law, and she wrote these simple words in a text “yeah lol there’s always a bigger picture” and instantly those words like sunk in my soul. I felt like the Holy Spirit spoke clearly to my heart, and reminded me that everything I/we go through and will go through is for a reason- and there is ALWAYS a bigger picture from the outside looking in. Kinda duh, I know…but in that moment I knew that these trials aren’t in vain, that for every tear shed there is joy in the morning, for everytime we feel like “it’s too tough”, there is hope on the horizon & a promise that will always be fulfilled. The bigger picture for me (probably for a lot of us) is I can’t compare my life or the season I am in to anyone else- or it will always look “wrong”. God knew what this year would look like for me, He knew I could handle certain things, He knew what would be thrown at me, He knew how I would feel and what I would get accomplished- and that looks different for all of us. Your marriage, children, sleeping routine, date nights, instagram photoshoots, your house decor, your bible study time, your priorities & time management- is much different than mine and THATS OK. I’m not here to say one way is better than the other, but I just want to throw a reminder out there that we all live different lives and we need to be SATISFIED with our own season, and not longing to live in someone else’s, because whatever they deal with privately would probably be more than you could endure. There is so many things about social media I dislike (probably said it too many times already lol) but I think comparison is the worst of them all. Social Media is small perfect glimpse’s into someone’s best life- and yet we have a whole generation so twisted up about it! So many people are focused on being so picture perfect and living up to a standard that isn’t even REAL- and all that does in the long run is cause insecurity, depression, lonliness, sadness, unworthiness- everything opposite of what God wants for us! We have no idea how people really live or what they are going through, we only know the good sides that they show us- there is always more to the story!

The past few months I’ve been pretty sick and I ended up losing around 15 lbs (for already being small-that’s a lot, I’m def not proud of it, nor am I like showing it off to the world lol). I was walking into Kaiser hospital like 3 weeks ago to drop something off in the lab, and a lady walked up to me and goes “WOW! I wish I was as skinny as you! wow you’re so lucky” and I stopped in my tracks- because I was overcome with the whole “I’m gonna start balling right now” so I smiled and ran to my car lol. What I wanted to say to this lady was “really?! really lady?! you really don’t wish for this” and then I realized-I’m her. I’m the lady- I make comments, judgements, assumptions of people and I HAVE NO IDEA THE PAIN THEY ARE GOING THROUGH. I don’t see the sickness people are enduring through, I can’t see the depression or the broken-ness- I just see humans and assume they’re “gonna make it”. I instantly started praying, God change my eyes- soften my heart, let me see people differently, let me love othes with a genuine compassion. I feel like this whole conversation God was reminding me “It’s bigger than you, there’s a bigger picture” you know? I know my pain isn’t in vain, and I know that through every thing He is healing me- making me different, teaching me a new level of grace, showing me a deeper compassion for people who I would have once wrote off as “weak”. I saw a quote the other day “God will never give you more than you can handle, wrong- God gives you more than you can handle so you’ll depend on Him” (paraphrased lol) but wowzaa!! What if everything you feel like is “unbearable” right now is literally meant to be unbearable so that you’ll actually pray? Actually read and depend on him??? (speaking to myself first of course!) I don’t know where you are at in life- I don’t know if it’s so joyous and everything you ever wanted or it’s harder than you ever expected- I don’t know, but maybe step back and reflect on your life from the outside, look at the bigger picture, look at what lessons you learned, how you’ve grown, look at the people around you who might need your advice or new found wisdom. Embrace every season that you’re thrown in this life with arms open wide, good or bad, take it head on & do the best you can. Life will always keep moving, God will always show up, things will change- but the one thing that won’t change is how you reacted & handled things. Also, don’t take advice from people doing LESS THAN YOU but find the ones who you trust and will push you forward 🙂

-lys